I read you in despair
Because that’s how you always were
We were together when I came to you
And then one day you tell me
Either peace or happiness
‘Let it enfold you’
Why
I ask you why
I have to walk my own way and
Time will give them to me
Time gave them to you and living did
I have to live,
You know how I feel
Like the sun
In this burning sun
I will be hard as granite
No matter how hard you try
I will not trust and I will curse
Hate all that you did and more
A kitchen full of dirty utensils
Plucking the leaves of coriander
Epilators and blood soaked sanitary pads
Soft toys and pink flowers
Bright bed-sheets and dirty walls
Waking in the mornings
And office cubicles
Men in uniforms,
New age
Shots of peace and tattered shards of
happiness
Maybe will never come to me
Maybe they will
But will I know?
Will I ‘embrace’ them and ‘let them take me’
Will I stop fighting some day?
Will I ever look in to the mirror and say?...
‘Not too bad,
almost beautiful’,
almost beautiful’,
And now I am just belittling your whole
life
And all the women you screwed
And the love you felt for your wife.
‘(not forgetting
centuries of the living
and the dead and
the dying,
the pyramids,
Mozart dead
but his music still
there in the
room, weeds growing,
the earth turning,
the toteboard waiting for
me)’
centuries of the living
and the dead and
the dying,
the pyramids,
Mozart dead
but his music still
there in the
room, weeds growing,
the earth turning,
the toteboard waiting for
me)’
Maybe I will also find my peace
In a ‘cheap room’
Or see ‘coffee cups lined up behind a
counter in a cafe’
But can someone save me from this living
Can you take away my heartbreak?
After all your vitriolic banter
You tell me you can’t
I wish you had remained in despair
And the mailman had never waived to you
So when the day came for me
To feel that there is nothing to prove no
more
I would have felt happy like you did
And asked people to let it enfold.
CHARLES BUKOWSKI (the idiot was happy one day)
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/let-it-enfold-you/
