CHARLES BUKOWSKI (the idiot was happy one day)

I read you in despair

Because that’s how you always were

We were together when I came to you

And then one day you tell me

Either peace or happiness

‘Let it enfold you’

Why

I ask you why

I have to walk my own way and

Time will give them to me

Time gave them to you and living did

I have to live,

You know how I feel

Like the sun

In this burning sun

I will be hard as granite

No matter how hard you try

I will not trust and I will curse

Hate all that you did and more

A kitchen full of dirty utensils

Plucking the leaves of coriander

Epilators and blood soaked sanitary pads

Soft toys and pink flowers

Bright bed-sheets and dirty walls

Waking in the mornings

And office cubicles

Men in uniforms,

New age

Shots of peace and tattered shards of happiness

Maybe will never come to me

Maybe they will

But will I know?

Will I ‘embrace’ them and ‘let them take me’

Will I stop fighting some day?

Will I ever look in to the mirror and say?...

‘Not too bad,
almost beautiful’,

And now I am just belittling your whole life

And all the women you screwed

And the love you felt for your wife.

‘(not forgetting
centuries of the living
and the dead and
the dying,
the pyramids,
Mozart dead
but his music still
there in the
room, weeds growing,
the earth turning,
the toteboard waiting for
me)’

Maybe I will also find my peace

In a ‘cheap room’

Or see ‘coffee cups lined up behind a counter in a cafe’

But can someone save me from this living

Can you take away my heartbreak?

After all your vitriolic banter

You tell me you can’t

I wish you had remained in despair

And the mailman had never waived to you

So when the day came for me

To feel that there is nothing to prove no more

I would have felt happy like you did

And asked people to let it enfold.

CHARLES BUKOWSKI (the idiot was happy one day)

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/let-it-enfold-you/